definitions

alabama hot pocket - This refers to the act of defecating in a woman’s vagina followed by straight sex.

how to draw olli jokinen

TOKYO!

this looks entertaining:

definitions

Dick Broom: A big bushy mustache long enough to sweep clean any penis that is inserted in the man’s mouth sporting the dick broom.

Counterpoint: The Host (2006)

We here at Granny Diner rarely disagree, but when we do we subject everyone around us to an unending argument where opinions rarely shift. Today's point of contention, the South Korean-produced monster movie The Host:

Yay:

For the most part, monster movies suck. The monsters are lame, the plots are predictable and the characters are boring. I'll admit that. But The Host isn't a typical monster movie. Sure, the monster was a bit goofy looking and the plot was hardly perfect, but where The Host differs from most other films like it is in its odd characters, tone and atmosphere.

First, I liked how the director didn't force the viewer to sit through half of the movie catching only brief glimpses of the monster in half-light waiting for it to finally be revealed in an underwhelming moment of banality. In The Host, we see the monster very early in the film, and in broad daylight! All of it! Not just it's tail, or eye, or tooth, but all of it! And the scene rules because of it.

All of the scenes that include the monster are cool, but I really didn't expect the most interesting part of this movie to be the cast of characters. Usually, characters in these types of films are comprised of really good looking actors intended to be eaten by a stupid monster in very predictable ways. Nothing like that exists in this movie.

The main character, a single dad who's a bit of a fuck up, spends the majority of the movie looking for his daughter who was snatched up at the start of the film by a giant fish-creature. Along with him is his oddball family and most of the time I didn't know whether to laugh at them or feel bad for them. They are not heroes, but they try. Despite all their flaws and mistakes, they are likable characters and I found that I cared about them. So in the end, this is a movie about a family as much as it is a movie about a giant mutated fish. It's not perfect, but it's still the best film I've seen in it's genre. Recommended.
-daniel

Nay:
I'd have to agree with the opening statement Daniel makes, for the most part, monster movies DO suck, and The Host was no exception. Gimme a fuckin break, the movie, cast of characters and all, were horrible. I guess I can see how its nice to watch this loser family run around looking for their missing family member, only to know it isn't going to end well.

And how the hell did 2 children survive the attacks of this monster? It killed everyone. Grown men and women, fit people from the army, but these two children are the ones that survive. Oh yeah.

The monster was cool, and it was great that you got to see it and blah, blah, blah, but what a lame origin for the monster. The stupid scientist apprentice contaminates the river by dumping all sorts of chemicals , because his dimwit 'evil' boss tells him too. Gimme a break. Anyway, other than The Host giving the audience the monster, there isn't much else drawing anyone to this film, particularly the dimwit family that Daniel 'cares' about. They sucked.

This movie gets 2.5 middle fingers out of 5.

-Lead

The first ten minutes:

You decide.

roma gets fucked; iggy passes theo; jersey wins cup

bullshit:
roma 3 - inter 3. i'll never get used to diving in soccer. balotelli's flop ruined a perfectly entertaining game and robbed roma of a much deserved win over (arguably) the best team in europe. after getting thoroughly outplayed in the first half inter did well to control the pace of the second, it's just a shame that they tipped the balance of the game on a dishonest play. very frustrating. and mourinho is a scumbag.

stooge

unrelated:
my favourite blooper ever:


deserved:
jarome iginla passed theo fluery as the flames' all-time leading point scorer with his 831st point last night. he had 5 points in an, uh, 8-6 loss. being a lifelong theo fluery fan i can honestly say that there is no other player i'd rather see break his record than iggy. he's just the best fuckin' captain (and player) they've ever had. after wayne, there is no other athlete i've ever loved more. can't wait for his 1,000th.

wicked ass

the future:
the 2008-2009 stanley cup playoffs according to me (because i'm not wrong often enough already).

EAST

1st round:

1-boston def 8-buffalo in 5

2-new jersey def 7-pittsburgh in 4

3-washington def 6-rangers in 5

4-philadelphia def 5-montreal in 7

2nd round:
4-philadelphia def 1-boston in 7
2-new jersey def 3-washington in 5

conference final:
2-new jersey def 4-philadelphia in 6

WEST

1st round:

1-san jose def 8-edmonton in 4

2-detroit def 7-minnesota in 5

3-calgary def 6-columbus in 6

5-vancouver def 4-chicago in 6

2nd round:
5-vancouver def 1-san jose in 6
2-detroit def 3-calgary in 6

conference final:
5-vancouver def 2-detroit in 7

stanley cup final:
2-new jersey def 5-vancouver in 7

PEOPLE WHO SUCK

Alright, so I guess I'll look like th bad guy once more. What's the deal with Don Cherry? Why does everyone in Canada (seemingly) like this racist, ignorant, bigot? Think I'm being harsh?

Ignorant - uninformed; unaware
Bigot - One who is strongly partial to one's own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ.
Racist - a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.

All 3 definitions are accurate when describing this man. Before everyone starts losing it and telling me I'm the idiot because Don Cherry knows a great deal about hockey. Fine. I'll admit that, he knows a great deal about the sport of hockey. Fair? What gets me are his comments made on a weekly basis just bashing players, countries, and a players heart. I was watching the game tonight (and going back to my previous post, it was on CBC, so I watch it and happily support my team) and I cringed when the buzzer for the first period rang, because I knew I had to hear that loud mouth. As I was watching this senile old man, I was speaking with Daniel and we (I'm taking it upon myself to lump you in here pal) were shocked at the bile he spews on television. This guy went off on Alexander Ovechkin, arguably the best player we have today, because he celebrates too much. Are you serious? Just because this player is so into the game, and puts himself into it so much and celebrates after a goal is no reason to criticize him. You should praise this guy for adding action and excitement to game that is dying more and more everyday for fans and revenues. Then he goes on to say (I'm paraphrasing here) that people like Ovechkin are making hockey ridiculous just like those soccer players do, and he went on to show clips comparing soccer player goal celebrations going on to how ridiculous it is. Now, its fair to have an opinion and I am in no way saying he shouldn't have one, but to follow those comments up with phrases like, well look at him dancing around. One of these days someone is gonna get really upset and go after him, and he deserves it. Kids don't play like that. He followed up coverage on the BEST PLAYER IN THE NHL with highlights of Jason Strudwick. Are you high Don? You can't begin to compare players of that caliber to players like Ovechkin just because they are Canadian and they don't wear visors. Gimme a break.

Not one person who is familiar with Don Cherry and Coach's Corner can say this man isn't a racist. He bashes foreign players at every turn, refuses to take the time to give these HUMAN BEINGS the courtesy of properly pronouncing their names, and ridicules an entire continent for what he claims is bad hockey. How is this guy on tv? Anyone else would be dubbed a racist, a bigot and ignorant but this dimwit is named #7 on CBC's list of greatest Canadians. This is a man who the people of Toronto and Canada, ran aid when the CBC did not want to renew his contract, this is a man when speaking about Russians is quoted saying "They suck. They always sucked." This is a man, who parents around the country let their children watch and listen to and tell them he is a 'good' Canadian. This man should be on the list of Greatest Canadian Jokes. The more I see him and listen to the nonsense he spews out to millions of Canadians, the more I think of that ignorant, right winged, war totting dipshit Bill O'Reilly and how alike they are. Hey Don and Bill, just cause you both yell to the point that your voice is horse doesn't mean your right.

OK, let the bashing begin.